getting lost in the bush

well im back in the city with a very painful knee, after nearly 70k's worth of mountain biking and the fact that i slammed it on the floor during kids club.

my second day in siem reap was just as good as the first. i started by getting some breaky and finding a cheap old bike to rent then headed off through the flooded streets up to angkor. my first thoughts as i cycled up past angkor wat was how much it reminded me of ash burnham, with its massive moat which was wide enough to be considered a river and dense bush. i couldnt stop imagining the place 800 years ago in its prime. its seems like such a long time ago when you look at all the crumbling temples completely overgrown with trees and wildlife. it is really a very beautiful place, more than anything i was just enjoying the quite, its great being out in the country. this week was the kings birthday, which basically means there were hardly any tourists or locals, on more than one occasion i had an entire temple to myself, which was pretty cool. it did rain non stop all morning, so i was completely drenched and most of the road were flooded which meant cycling through a foot of water for a large section of the circuit. i think i must have cycled about 30k and the day before chris reconed it was more like 40k, so all in all we got the most out of our bike rentals! after cycling through rice paddies and dense jungle for about 4 1/2 hours i decided to make my way back to angkor wat park my bike and wonder round, chris came up to angkor with the expressed intention of 'getting lost in the bush' fair enough, i think he had fun and came back completely coated in mud. to use his own words...'what could go wrong?' i had good fun and was, by this point, well up for a few rounds down the pub and a large hearty meal, so we headed back exchanging stories about heards of elephants blocking the road and crazy old women giving odd directions in the bush. at one point i gave up cycling because my knees were startiong to ache so i grabbed on to a passing tuk tuk and got him to carry me along for a couple of k, the group of khmer school kids though this was the best thing they had ever seen and were taking pictures of me with their phones before i nearly got forced off the road and quickly let go much to their displeasure, we exchanged grins and i carried on my way. my favorite part of the all the temple complexes, and there are alot, was the elephant terrace at bayon in angkor thom. the sign said this long platform was used by the angkorian kings to welcome foreign guests and inspect military parades, the bast thing was that it look out onto a large open field so you could just imagine elephants with armour and archers on them followed by gold plated shields and chariots, the carvings inside angkor wat show all these things in great detail. i have some photos and will post up here soon. one of the most bizarre things i saw carved on the tamples was a guy who had carved his name and dated his graffiti at 1905. for over a century people have been scribling their names onto these beautiful buildings. i also spent a while wondering around ta prom where they filmed the tomb raider film, made famous by the huge trees growing on top and on the side of the walls having spent decades pushing their way up through the stones. it felt like it had been discovered yesterday because the jungle still held a strong grip on it, most of the temples are being restored or just proped up by scaffolding and a couple, it seemed, were almost being rebuilt. it truely was an amazing place i could have easily spent another day there. shame i didnt have the time and had to get back to the city for kids club on wednesday afternoon, which i was a bit bummed about becaue i was having so much fun but chirs wanted to get back to see the old trouble and strife.

our bus journey back seemed to take less time than on the way up and we pay half the price for it! i got back barely ten minutes before the kids arrived for the afternoon club which wasnt ideal considering i had just spent five hours on a bus and hadnt changed my clothes for a while. so i was a bit smelly and very crusty.

i leave phnom penh in one month and am going to go book some flights to new zealand today. i will be back in england on june 30th. i cant believe its may where has the year gone already?

Ben.

finders keepers

soo much to say, apologies in advance for this lengthy post.

so after a very sucessful sunday morning with sinart from potchentong bringing a whole bunch more new faces along...that could take up a post in itself. me and chris grabbed a bus up to siem reap. this is the town jeni visited last week, if any of you follow her blog. so after 5 1/2 hours driving through the country, which by the way i didnt take my eyes off the whole time, we arrived late and smelly. all i could think of was how much i love it out in the country, it felt like a relief to be leaving the city and for the first time in a while i really felt like i was enjoying being here. nothing like an adventure to get my juices flowing! after a night in a rather over priced guest house ($10) we decided to jump ship and head closer to town. our next experiment was with a guest house with a banner over the door saying....literally 'looks expensive but not' classic. so we have a $7 room, which we both felt a bit better about. this morning we decided to hire a couple of mountain bikes and rough it out in the cambodian bush, we were headed for a silk farm where they make the most incredible stuff out of silk and give you a tour of their farm including a look at all the cocoons and worms and slave labourers. some of their material is so intricate they can only weave 20cm per day....and thats a cambodian day so about 20 hours, joke, more like 12. it was a beautiful thing cycling through the country, not a tourist in sight and burning it through puddles that would be considered small lakes in england. indeed the main street in siem reap was under about a foot of water. tyhe monsoon is in full swing no doubt about it. on our way back after a 16k ride out and back to the silk farm we stopped at the siem reap army base where they have a military war museum. this, by the way, is far cooler than it sounds and includes a selection of decimated tanks and various other machines that had been blown to pieces by mines and american planes. we also got to hold bazookas and a variety of russian made rifles. i also managed to boost (steal) a real khmer rouge bullet, it took me a few minutes to twist the rusty metal bullet of its case but then i left much happier knowing that i had in my possesion a real piece of cambodian history, even if i had to loot a museum to get it. i guess i really should feel a bit guilty, but to be honest its so cool i dont regret it one bit. burn in hell i hear you saying, finders keepers is my reply.

so after nearly 30k's of cycling in slouching in an air conditioned internet cafe in the town and am about to go meet chris for a bevie. one funny moment from the day was after jumping through a rather deeper puddle than expected and hence coated in hot mud i turn to chris and say 'mate...i flippin love this country' happy times. tomorow were going to cycle round the temples some more, only saw them from the distance today. the country up here is certainly picturesque miles after miles of bright green rice paddies, so green it hurts your eyes to look at them, this really is a beautiful country. right, the beer is calling must go.

s-ait do knear mpairt roboh knyom
Ben.

6p

for those of you who dont know me and those of you who i thought did know me let me clear something up. my previous blog 'Ronan' was indeed a joke. no i am not going into the love ballad business and disown me at your own peril mr fox. i actually only went to the gig because jeni wouldnt shut up about it, something about it being her lifes mission to see him perform or something.

glad we cleared that up.

i forgot to tell you about the khmer gym. me and chris decided to go and visit this khmer gym just up the road so off we went in the pouring rain and quickly found ourselves in a shack with about 20 other kick boxers and body builders trying to lift weights. i must say at this point that it was all chris's idea. after a few minutes of not really knowing what to do and looking really awkward i just went off and started playing with some different machines and chris got talking to this guy who was explaining the best way to get 'chunky' as he put it. after what seemed like an eternity we left after only 40 minutes. not bad considering i can barely wink without breaking into a sweat. the session cost us 500 riel each which is about 6p, i think we got our moneys worth. can you imagine if david lloyd cost 6p. struth.

im furiously drinking milk at the moment trying to put on some weight. problem is the milk aint cheap, but thats ok. it doesnt taste that bad so i put up with it. happy days.

keep sending messages.
Ben.

links

just as a side note, and only if you have the imte!, please check out the other blogs i have linked to my page. of particular interest to life here in cambodia is jeni cottrells, who shares life here and my dads blog that has some more photos of their holiday here in january.

chaeck out my brother olivers for random posts and serious spiritual discussion as well as john piper and peter cockrells blogs which i have found a great resource of recent months. john piper has a particularly good message on his site about 'getting the most out of your cancer' sounds strange i know, but very helpful in view of all that is happening here and all that heppened with robb.

belinda must get a mention with her endless baby photos and craig provides some interesting insights into life in wales...talk about cross culture!

let me know what you think.

Ben.

Ronan

this story all starts two weeks ago...

...so as usual i stopped at the petrol station to fill up and get my weekly mars bar when after a long deliberation between mars and snickers, i finally chose my treat. in a sugar induced trance i stumbled out of the shop and saw a rather large poster with a photo of Ronan Keating on it and a sign that announced that he was doing a gig at the olympic stadium a couple of weeks later.this sounds fairly trivial, i know, but you must understand that no international artist has ever played in cambodia, this is by far the largest and most publicised event the country has seen in recent years. so after a few days joking around with jeni that we should go along, iu started to think seriously that i would actually really like to go. note the strong sense of sarcasm in my writing yet beyond it there is an element of truth. when the day came round i nearly forgot about it then suddenly remembered in time and off we went in the pouring rain to see if we could get some tickets. not only did we get tickets but we got ushered through to the front where only the people who had paid lots more than us were sitting. after enduring three awful khmer pop songs from some girl Ronan himself and the band strutted onto the stage to an unbelivable throng of screams and kicked off in a rather unexpected rock and roll jig. much to my surprise and after a few songs of feebly waving my glow stick and clapping along i started to really enjoy it, obviously jeni was loving it and at one point stood on her chair to throw some underware up on the stage. it was just a shame i didnt know any of the songs to sing along, until he pulled out a few boyzone classics which i only recognised come the chorus but heartly sang, in my head, along to. it is funny how something you associate with the west, even though i would never go to see ronan keating in england, can remind you of home. just the atmosphere of a live concert and the songs in english was a welcomed break from the terrible khmer pop ive grown accustomed to. aside from all the joking, i did really enjoy the gig. one thing to say is that the band were incredibly good musicians. the guitarists between them had about 8 guitars and at one point ronan himself played, he clearly wasnt playing along because he was changing chords in all the wrong places, i could tell! and the drummer had some serious skills. one thing to say about pop is that you really cant beat the melody, that was all i could think afterwards. even though the words are soppy and the song names cheesy, the melodies are fantastic. it was then and there in that moment that i realised the point of my life, the reason i am here on this earth...to write love ballads. i wish! after several years unsucessfully trying to write a good meaningful hymn ive decided to turn my attemtion to writing love ballads. i can unleash all my obvious charm and wit to fashion some songs to melt the hearts of sweaty cambodians and their western husbands. the otherthing was the hoards of embarrising dads that were present at the show, only they wernt with their kids, they were with their asian girlfriends. ughh. and their moves were literally unbelievable. i think jeni has some good photos that hopefully she will post on her blog, so keep checking it. good times.

this whole blog and the concert started off as a joke but i really feel like i have meaning and a direction i have finally found my role in society. if only i was irish.

Ronan...opps i mean Ben.

spilling beans

the frog in the gate

the view from the flat balcony.

and yes, sorry becky, the date on my camera is several years wrong, apologies. you are not raving mad.

its been a very hard week. some things have happened at the church that have upset some people and left a few with a bad taste in the mouth. i cant really spill the beans but its a fairly classic scenario but an incredibly difficult decision for steve. i dont envy him anything.

life rolls on. i cant really believe that its may. i cant remember what it is like to live in england anymore, ive been in this incredibly intense. non stop, manic life that what at first seemed ubsurd has become normal. i can imagine upon arrival in england there will be many things that i will need to readjust in my thinking, including the laws of the road, personal hygine and various other seemingly illegal activities. ive said it before and ill say it again, what an unbelievably mental place this is. completely mental.

Ben.

the incident of the frog in the night

in the latest frog episode, of which there have been many of recent weeks, i rather over zealously slammed the gate shut last night after returning from a boozer at the pub to the sound of a squish. in no frame of mind to switch the lights on and see what poor soul had met its fate that solumn eve, i wondered up the steps to the flat and slep soundly as if no conscience was even assigned to me. then come the morning i dicovered that it was in fact a frog that had, rather interestingly, manage to get its head in between the post and the gate just at the time i pulled it shut. this, as you can imagine, left a unendingly amusing dead frog with its brains literally all over the pavement in the door way just in time for the sunday morning rush. good skils....that story is one hundred percent true.

we had a good meeting today, another long one. ive partaken in a few marathons recently, including a four hur prayer meeting where i played guitar non stop for 1. 1/2 hours then church today started at 8am and ended at 2pm...thats...wait...im just working it out...6 hours! admittedly this did include lunch and a heavy dose of faffing, of which the khmer people are experts. a guy called patrick from england spoke and he was really good, he helps lead a plant in glouster and is 68. he had some wise words for me which were encouraging and was obviously a pretty solid bloke. ive appreciated meeting a few older, significantly older, men in the past 8 months who have offered some very wise words. bob in christchurch, new zealand, had a good affect on me and really helped me sort some things out in my head. good guy.

i am currently drinking a khmer milk shake, which is not as bad as it sounds and tastes better than it looks. i did actually buy it from a shop and not some random geezer down the street. it isnt often i buy strawberry but it was either that, rats blood or bat brains flavour, so the choice was easy...joke.

peace out,
Ben.

KFC

ive been continuing in my nostalgic frame of mind over the past week, which has left me in a solumn mood to say the least, but like i said before i am feeling very content with life here. i think if i didnt know when exactly i was leaving i would already be looney, not to say that i am not verging on the looney side as it is, but i am certain that i wouldnt, in my current state, be classified as looney.

not much news to report, i hope you liked the photos and appreciated the obvious creative and athletic ability that went into the construction of the film that i linked to the last post. good times, eh? ive had some good ones here as well and shall always look back and remember happily the times i spent sitting on a curb in the rain trying to eat from a plastic cup with chop sticks. good times indeed.

i woke this morn to find a rather interesting surprise in the bathroom. im not joking when i say this toad the size of a tennis ball was hopping around and doing front flips off the seat into the bowl as if to prove that he is a more experienced swimmer than i. so after a few failed attempts to splat him with a frying pan i gave up and decided to fight for the moral victory and assume the high status for the fact that i didnt lower myself and try to jump in myself, this obviously left him in a state of depression and loss at the fact that he had been so utterly undone by my intellect he quickly left, leaving me victorious.
not all of that story is true...but there was a large toad in my bathroom, which sovath offered to fry for me to which he quickly asked, with a questioning look upon his face 'how do they cook frogs in england?' to which i obviously answered 'deep fried in batter, they call it KFC' i walked off to hear him whisper to himself 'K...F...C?'....ok so not all of that was true either but it makes a good story, eh?

this rather random post is for the great man i have the privelige of calling my dad. happy birthday old boy, chin up your not 50 yet.

Ben.

road south

royal palace at night

kite flying.

independence monument

the long road south

more kites

harry at the bottom looks seriously scary,eh? this is kids club.

luc and darit

Sothy with his baptism certificate

two albino khmers.

the water fall en route to the beach...way back in november 2006.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj5VCywfk40





this is a classic film me and my bros made last year.





hope you enjoy the latest pictures, thanks for all the comments. keep em rolling.



Ben.

#100

wow a historic moment, not really. this is post number 100 on this blog! what a joy it has been. when i remember back to sitting in the jubilee office and writing my first blog way back in august last year it seems a life ago and actually was a life ago. so much has changed and in a relatively short space of time. i hope you have enjoyed reading my thoughts as much as i have enjoyed writing them, although i am aware that i often scare my grandparents with the occasional rant about somesuch nothingness. apologies. i wouold like to point out that at this point i am excited about moving on to something new soon and well, the truth is my life in england is far too uninteresting to warrant a blog. like i said in my first blog this is a place where i can post news and stories from cambodia...hence the name (ben in cambodia!) and seeing as i will soon no longer be in cambodia the blog must come to an end. it has been a good place for me to let off some steam and fuel my shrinking ego.

if you read this please leave a post, if you have read my blog before and never left a post i insist you must. it is very important to hear from people, i know jeni has appreciated emails as have i...send more!

back to this crazy land.
Ben.

apocalyptic rain storms

little bo looking cute in his traditional khmer shirt for the wedding.

sothy reading a bible verse

verne and polly

the uni.

klang na (very strong) boy from the village.

this is a phoo from the christmas party at the destiny rescue building in stung men chay village the day i left cambodia for england. this is pat playing some games with the kids.

sothy looking suspicious. either planning to steal my wallet or cut my break cables. and his friend mr.koy looking on in sheer delight, i really dont know what he was doing!

me and so-wat (sovath)

danik (daneth) and verne

the wedding on aturday. dar and ratana on the right of centre have been coming to our church on and off for a few months.

its been a funny old week. a few things have happened that have been interesting experiences. on our way back from cell group on friday night me and pat got caught in one apocalyptic rain sorm that left us both looking like a fish out of water, yet i was still surprisingly warm. it s nearly hitting 40 degrees at midday and just a hot at night. as i pulled into the church my bike skidded on the tiles and i whamed into the wall and took a layer of skin off my arm then proceeded to almost run over our live in toad, bernard.

the wedding was really great, very small but very nice. the food was great which is alway something to compliment although i left feeling a bit bloated after eating my body weight in curry. well worth it. jenifer and hiep, whos house the wedding was held at have also been coming along to the church for a fe months and their boys come to the kids club. they have a zoo in their back garden. the only really interesting creatures are their monkey which is tied to a tree and a sloth which looked dead but was obviously asleep as they are night life maniacs. they also have kittens, bunnies, guniee pigs and a pony. pretty cool i say.

then today we went out for lunch after church and down to the asia club to go swimming, a very obvious and popular among the expat community here. in fact last week we bumped into the evans family and all their mental kids, who i lived with before. polly came along aswell which was nice and it was his first time going swimming in a pool, he has been swimming in the lake and river, neither of which would make a particularly pleasent experience. it was great to spend some time with him. we got chatting after about the khmer language and midge started quizzing polly about various gramatical confusions and made me start wishing i had done some more language lessons. i can only write two words and cannot read any more than those, id love to be able to speak more freely aswell. ive learnt enough to get by comfortably and feel like i can express myself and make myself understood but no more than that. which i regret. its all good fun though!

more pics soon.

Ben.

photos galore

me and polly.
the band
jeni's main job...setting out chairs.
the church/office
sorry i cant rotate this one, it is the church and flat above, where i live.

this photo is the khmer cell group we have after church on a sunday morning.

steve and polly.

glad to finally get some photos up here, sorry its taken such a while, hopefully i can upload some more soon. miss everyone but am feeling good today. will write some more tomorow or monday.

Ben.

joe bloggs

sorry about the last post, i dont quite know what got into me. it was worth it to get you lousy people to leave messages. call yourselves friends? sorry...i know that wont win me any brownie points and i am in desperate need to some of those right now.

got my hands on a flash disk today so should hopsfully be able to get some photos up here soon. in the process i was checking out the ipods, you can buy a 1G ipod for $30...that fifteen pounds sterling. pretty cheap, eh? i might get me one of those before i leave. by the way my gameboy is classic, my thumbs hurt already from the excessive tetrising. thanks for your suggestions ryan i will look into all the games you suggested although i can help but shout from my computer desk...GEEK. greatfully you already refered to yourself as one so we shouldnt need a chat anytime soon...or do we?

ahh im glad for a bit of online banter. i must say joseph 'wit'church has been a bit lacking in syberspace humor of late, is he losing the magic touch as they say? shock horror! or is that shock and awe! goodness me, what a strange state of mind i find myself in. in furthur justification of my drug induced previous blog i must inform everyone that throughout history there have been many genius's of which i am obviously not one, but none the less, if these seemingly incredibly intellectual and impressive people are allowed massive stints in looney assylums then surely joe bloggs here is allowed a funny five minutes.

talking of funny five minutes ive have a rather silly few days in terms of the unfortunate circumstances i seem to find myself in, not because of clumsiness or stupidity, but simply because of old fashioned bad luck. i whacked my hand on the banister rail in the church and punched the smiths wall whilst trying to push the door bell, then, once again, i dropped a heavy duty door lock smack bang on my foot. i still have my fungus infected legs which have started to make me feel like a manchester united fan in Roma and i appear to be growing some sorty of emsamble of rashes on my hands. good old heat rash. brilliant.

we have a wedding tomorow, traditional khmer, so should be a ball. ill let you know if i do anything studip like acidently pour red wine on the brides dress, it has been known to have happened. not to me yet but i can forsee such an event.

Ben.

karma

what can i say? i spent ten mintues trying to rermember how to spell 'exhausted' then another ten trying to find a dictionary to check if my mind was playing tricks on me again.

my most recent attempt at getting a solid nights sleep is to sit up till about 12 and wait. then fall asleep almost immediately, fortunately i have west wing season seven to keep me entertained. the only problem is i find it hard to sleep after being totally enthralled in the programe and find myself sitting on the edge of my seat whispering 'com on santos' to myself in some laughable comic skit worthy of a place in any modern american sit com. so with the added stress of a fictional was in kazakhstan and a presidential election that may as well be real considering the amount of time i ponder its outcome. i decided to buy some drugs. seriously. not altogether cheap drugs at that. it cost my $3 for a dozen sleeping pills and another dollar for my fungus infected legs, oh yes i forgot to mention, i have fungus infected legs. or did i say that already...i forget. the pills seemed to help and i slept all night but felt aweful in the morning, chur as they say. i was still felt heavily sedated at lunch. maybe thats where my morning went..., i was so whacked on smack i must have lost myself in some drug induced karma of nirvana. of course im only kidding, dont worry mum, im not taking over the perscribed limit...yet. it does worry you, however, to know that you can freely buy morphine over the counter without a perscription. im not sure worrying is the right word, maybe inticing or tempting would suit the sentence better.

i have run out of things to say, maybe i should buy some morphine to make this blog a bit more exciting? i will get back to you on that one.

long live cambodia.
Ben.

1975

i had a terrible day which is bad for me but good for you as it means i have some interesting things to write about.

i just popped up to the british embassy to try and get some forms for tevy who is hopefully going to come to england this summer for the brighton conference. and in the process went to a whole new part of the city i have never even driven through before. i drove right past the french embassy which probably wont mean anything to anyone unless your french or interested in modern cambodian history. the french embassy was the place where all the expats went when pol pot and his khmer rouge troops took the city in 1975, it is where the film 'killing fields' is set and is steeped in history. so it was interesting to see that although they have clearly replaced the old building with a shiny new one and a giant wall blocks any view of the compound, still it was enough for me to pull over and gaze for a few seconds. just round the corner is the british embassy which looks like a small pig farm in comparisson but, rather impressively blocks an entire street with its anti truck bomb barriers. wisely for the french they decided, for the most part, to keep out of bush's wear on terror, which is convienient for the cambodian authorities because the french embassy ios right smack bang on the main street in the city, blocking that road would prove diplomatically and physically stupid.

then i intended to pop over to the post office and was on my way when i realised that i didnt have the letter i was going to send, so doubled back on myself and took a wrong turn at a very confusing intersection and was briskly pulled over by the police, which obviously started my heart pounding as my mouth resembled something like the sarah desert. however quick to calm my nerves the police man spoke ok english so i explained to him that i had gotten lost and hadnt seen the no turning right sign which for the record is on the wrong side of the road and hidden behind a tree. he quickly hit back by asking some rather probing questions about my wonderfully crappy motobike, which un fortunately for me is nopt only unlicenced but was bought ilegally and i am driving it illegally. fortunately for me 8 out of 10 nikes in phnom penh are in the same situation as mine and the same amount of drivers dont have a licence or any paperwork. so i was a little worried but then when i asked him to write the fine and let me go he said for that i had to wait untill 6 o'clock at this point it was 4:15, i wasnt going to sit there for that long so i asked him how much to go now and he said $10 to which i laughed because i know that the fine is $1.25. i managed to negotiate my way down to a dollar for him and his friend and then they let me go, after which i shouted at myself 'ben you stupid bugger'. i then proceeded to feel awefully sick and guilty bedcause of the fact that i had just bribed a police man. i know bribery corrupts the soul and i wasnt even thinking i just wanted to get away as soon as i could. i still feel utterly aweful about the whole thing. at least its one thing i can tick off my list of things to do before i die...bribe a police man. doesnt sound very holy eh? well im ashamed of myself.

in genral ive been feeling pretty stretched at the moment and have a growing list of jobs and errands to run. this song has come to sum up how im feeling at the moment.

havent i been faithful to you lord?
havent i offered up my prayers and tried to follow your word?
lord wont you search me and show me where im wrong?
ive been waiting for the blessing for far too long

lord forgive me for speaking this right out
but i see the wicked prosper while the godly go without
i cant read human hearts but do you know where im coming from?
ive been waiting for the blessing for far too long

lord up ahead i see the lonely road
ive got this burden on my back its such a heavy load
these day ive got questions buit theres no answers in my songs
ive been waiting for the blessing for far too long

please dont be angry with me oh my god
please dont hide your face away
im like a child and im down on my knees
and im begging for you just to bless me today

brian houston. 'rollercoaster' album.

Ben.

mars bar and milk shake

well its been a happy couple of days, ive been feeling a whole lot better and have decided to start enjoying myself again. ive been amazed at how this trip has worked itself out financially, considering some of the pretty expensive things ive had to buy (visa's, air tickets, moto's etc.) i still have a good chunk, which was reassuring as i sat in the travel agents and discussed dates and flights to sydney. i have had some very generous gifts over the last year towards my living costs and other stuff which has been a massive blessing. so with that in mind ive stopped worrying about eating cheap rubbish food and decided to raise my standard of living slightly, so i had a burger for lunch...brilliant! ive established a good weekly routine i like to call my monday mars bar and milkshake day. it only costs $2.75 but has boosted my morale on several lonely monday afternoons. i think thats a routine to break into my other life...the one in england i mean. after what i said about counting the days i really felt like today was a chance to start thinking about all the stuff i could do here before i leave, i still feel like im just getting started with the stuff i want to do and see completed. good news...i finaly finished the consturction of our infamous table tennis table. works a dream, just need to buy some bats...opps.

had a good day with steve today, i was feeling a little frustrated before. mainly because of the way i had taken certain things but perhaps also because of expectations i had had that didnt work out. we are two completely different people which has at times been hard but has also been good as we both see stuff from different points of view. we had a quick experiment and figured out that we could fit about 70 people into the church hall (at a push), things really feel like they are starting to take off here, its really just a matter of time. so things are on the up, im pleased to be able to say i helped a little. i hope the church will look back on this year and see everything that everyone has done. it really is a massive sacrifice for the smiths, they have literally given their lives to this. good on em i say.

west wing series seven awaits...must go.
Ben.

ghost town

i am back to full strength and also back to eating gut rippingly hot chili crisps. as i write my mouth is on fire, maybe that wasnt a wise purchase...

well i have 9 full weeks in cambodia. so much has happened and i have so many memories when i think about it all it seems like a few years worth of life has happened in the last seven months yet when i think right back it seems like yesterday i was saying goodbye at heathrow in september. i hate to say it but the countdown has begun for me, ive been looking at my diary for a while, but i think because khmer new year was a non event for me i was forced to spend a bit of time thinking and that usually ends up me thinking about home. i must savour every portion of fried noodles and every grain of rice. lord no more rice...please.

i realise announcing on the blog that i might be going down under was probably not the wisest thing, it may ot happen and all depends on sorting out the dates. but i really would like to go so i will put in extra effort. in the meantime chris has promised to take me to see the temples sometime in may for a few days, it would seem pretty stupid spending all this time in cambodia and not going to angkor wat, having said that steve has been here four years and hasnt been yet. mental. it is after all one of the wonders of the ancient world. speaking of anciet world has anyone seen apocalypto? man thats a bloddy film! i stacked up on dvds to see me through the new year.

things with the church here are going well, we didnt meet last weekend because of the new year, everyone goes off to their hometowns so the city was empty. it felt like a bit of a ghost town at three o'clock in the afternoon driving around. it was a strange feeling. phnom penh is really quite a small city but the roads are crammed with people because no one walks anywhere. so with few cars and a slow trickle of motos the dust laid a thick layer of muck on the road which make driving more unpleasant, my visor is so scratched i cant use it and i managed to break my sunglasses aswell, so i just have to squint a bit and rely on my god given eye lashes to event almost certain death. im joking, its a bit safer than i make out.

i havent heard from anyone for a while. give me an email with all your news if your reading. its good to feel part of things in this odd situation i seem to have found myself in. life goes on, if barely.

uncle john if your reading this i am glad your out of hospital and feeling a bit better. email me if you are feeling up to it, it would be good to hear from you again and hear some more war stories. we all prayed for you and continue to do so.

much love hommies,
King Ben.

pure evil

ive got it.....it was that evil spiders leg...never again.

popping pills

i have been sick like a dog the last few days and although putting a brave face on things i still feel aweful. my head is pounding and my stomach is churning. i didnt sleep much the first night as was to anf from the bathroom every half hour then puked up in the morning, which is never a pleasent experience. all my boasting about having a stomach of steel and my recent surge in experimental local dishes probably hasnt helped. i figured as i hadnt been sick up till now i must be resistant to most stuff, i had eaten almost anything they sell on the side of the street and hadnt had any problems before. to make it worst i am still mourning spurs defeat by seville. yes joe, i agree. am always pleased to see any italian side get a firm whopping.

so my new years plans have been hampered by my belly...gutted, i had a few allnight raves lined up and perhaps a trip to a khmer nightclub...joking, i would certainly die if i went there.

my head feels like its going to explode so im going to head home and sulk for a few hours.

to make it all worse it was Sothys birthday yesterday and i couldnt even walk to the end of the street and buy him a pressie, steve came by and took me round to theirs which i did without complaint because i knew i wouldnt be allowed my own space and peace and quiet, it just wasnt going to happen. so instead i had to sit with them and the boys and add to my growing illness, to make it even worse i wasnt allowed to eat anything. im sorry, im learning that i complain too much. suffering in silence is the best way by far i think, i would rather not be treated as a science experiment.

ive been popping pills all day which have helped slightly, momentarily stopped all flow of liquid.

anyway,

i need some confirmation:
-is it true luke is joining the police?
-is it also true the foxes are moving to leistershire?
-i heard a rumor the lease on the flat is going to end and not be renewed?
-at pizza express joe was unable to finish the leftovers...sloppy joeseppy?

im going to be sick.....ughhh

red ants

i once again tried to up load some more photos but these blummin internet cafes arnt all that good!

its been a difficult few days here, ive been feeling more and more isolated. one look at my diary and i realised that i have just 10 weeks untill i leave for england. ive decided to go to sydney and aukland although at the moment im just sorting out dates with steve and looking at how much it will cost etc. but it is something i really want to do and could leave PP 10 days earlier than i was going to and fit it in at the end of my trip. we will see if it happens, but i hope it all comes together, it will give me something to look forward to and get my mind off all the stresses of my job and life here, which seem to have been piling up recently. its khmer new year this weekend and we dont have church or any other meetiongs because all the khmer will be in their home provinces and alot of the whities are heading out of the city for a few days whilst everything here is shut down. chris and dale might be going to the beach so i may try and tag along and tomorow we have a dvd fest planned for the afternoon after a roast dinner at steve and midges.

i had a rubbish sleep last night, it rained really hard and woke me up, but i also had a pretty traumatic dream where i got stabbed in the head and died. thats a bit of a long story and started a discussion with jeni as to whether i watch too many violent films...im looking forward to staying up all night watching zombie movies at the flat in a couple of months in england. good times.

so ive been genrally a bit under the weather physically as well as mentally, the possibility of a trip south of the equator has lifted my spirits as i thought it was off the cards.

i recieved a bunch of letters and packages from england today which i think have been sitting in the mail box for a few weeks as one package containing some chocolate elcairs had been revished by red ants, aweful shame. i thoroughly enjoyed reading 'the week' and 'private eye' and endless newspaper clippings from nan kept the boys entertained whilst trying to avoid their home schooling this morning. i dont blame them, i wasnt in the mood to do much work either. just sat there and grunted occasionally so they knew i wasnt asleep. like i said i didnt sleep much last night, im going to see if i can get some pills to help me sleep because th last few weeks have been particularly bad as the weather hots up and the rains start to fall hard at night. i always hated putting chemicals into my body but recently ive been taking regular aspirin and vitamins and drinking a bit too much coffee which probably doesnt help my campaign for better sleep.

i have thought about nothing much today except being back in england. i know i will be sad leaving here and my life here because it is so wildly different from my life at home, yet i can help but confess how much i am longing to sleep in a warm bed and have warm showers and drink fresh milk again...its funny the things you miss.

apologies for the ramble, ive never been an organised blogger!
still going slightly mental,
Ben.