i had my hair cut today, what a surprisingly depressing event. i was parading quite an impressive mop upon my brow and was clearly rebuked for the obvious crime against all things 'cool' which i have clearly lost touch with. having said that it was a good move considering the hot season is about to hit full swing. i must say, however, it felt like someone was cutting off my arm. i had grown quite attached to my mullet which i felt had been prematurely pruned back in november and allowed to flourish untill this very day. i retain the right to my beefy 1970's mutten chops that have been given a fresh burst of life after comming out from under the shade of the oppressive 'beatle-esk' forest that used to hide most of their splendour.
i hope you appreciate the amount of milage i just got out of a simple haircut, i have become pretty good at making the most monotonous acts seem like an event worthy of airtime on CNN, or the BBC world service at least.
my bike has been chuging away like a freight train so i figured it was time to put in some new oil. this is an interesting fact about men...
...give them a piece of machinery and they instantly know everything about it, all the intricate workings of the engine and how to fix the smallest problem. failing actual knowledge the next best thing is to pull over take a good look at whereever they have decided the problem is comming from and stare intently, nod a little to look convincing and then heave a big sigh as if all hope is lost. i confess i am the greatest offender but definately made a few onlookers believe i knew what was wrong. sadly i know nothing and even after changing the oil she still cries out in pain every time you wake it up. struth.
coughing up hair balls for weeks to come, no doubt.
Ben.
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2 comments:
hey bud, glad to hear you're keeping the muttons. They must dominate a large proportion of your mug by now, Maybe it's time to get a flat cap and a pipe. When you refered to the 'beatle-esque' forest I really hope you were talking about some sort of hair infestation. I guess that's unlikely.
I don't like the way you're giving away some of the most sacred secrets of manhood so flipantly though Ben. If us guys don't have our, 'appear to know everything about everything that we have in actual fact never understood and never will' face... What do we have?
Bye bye then
Joe
"Referring to your previous entry"
WASPS....i HATE wasps....
I’m not even sure I understand the point or purpose of a wasp. Other than to make otherwise rational and sane people nervous wrecks creating all sorts of deep-rooted psychological problems they don’t really do anything. Out of all of the potentially dangerous or scary things that sting you, wasps are the most useless.
Bee’s for example, make honey and pollinate the flowers. Some have even been lucky enough to have a part in Winnie the Pooh cartoons. Clearly, Bee’s have a purpose.
Stinging Nettles are another example, you can at least use them to make something that vaguely resembles tea. ok, the tea looks and smells like pond water but allegedly it is quite good for you.
Wasps are pointless and painful, evil and irrational, small and annoying!
I rest my case...
Yours truly, The Fox
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