sweat and blood

we're going to the airport tonight to pick up the girls, im dead excited and havent slept for the last couple of nights. id like to say its because im looking forward to having my friends here but the truth is ive been pretty stressed with various different things at work and its getting hotter sduring the night which is making it harder to sleep.

steve and midge got back from australia yesterday and had a good time, i tried really hard but couldnt help hide my dissapointment at not being allowed to go myself. especially when he was saying all the great stuff they were talking about, i was obviously annoyed about something, which started a conversation about talking about feelings which i always dread and consider it a priority to perfect my 'everything is ok, i dont want to talk about my feelings' face. ughhh.

the last couple of months have been fairly average and uninteresting, all i can say is i hope i get the oppertunity to get out of the city a bit more. my adventuring spirit is longing to break free. ive heard some good things about battambang province and the town itself. its up near the thai border and sits on one of cambodias many rivers. for the last thirty years, throughtout the several wars and foreign occupations, it was left untouched and survived mostly intact. the french colonial buildings are said to be stunning and its lack of night life is something that immediately attracted me to it. also they run daily speed boats to siem reap from battambang, that is where the angkor temples are. so i figured i could do both in a short trip, maybe just four or five days. knowing my luck so far this year with planning to do things, getting my hopes up then haveing them brutally squashed, i am not betting on it actually happening but i think ive earned a break.

i just finished lunch at the petrol station, which is a regular habit of mine, mainly because the bakery in the little shop is always tasty and they have cash machines so it is quite convienient. my monday (day off) routine usually includes a trip to the petrol station to buy a strawberry milkshake and a bar of chocolate then just sit there and watch the world whiz by, i also occasionally buy petrol.

Joel arrived last week for 8 weeks, so ive spent a little time with him which has been nice, although he was horribly sick for his first week here and had to keep postponing our little get together, fair enough. chris has a lung infection and dale has food poisioning. but im doing pretty well..praise God! it does seem strange that i havent been sick once since i arrived here last september, especially considering all the junk ive eaten from street sellers who literally pour their sweat and blood into their meals and cook using a pan that has been washed out in the local sewage system. dont quote me on that one but i have a good idea that is what actually happens. i wake up at night in a cold sweat having seen visions of Khmers down in the sewer joking amongst themselves their new technique to sicken the foreigners. their cackling laugh reviberates in my mind for days, it all quite strange what goes on in my head consider that this is in fact a daily occurance and not at all unnormal.

sweating for the Lord,
Ben.