red ants

i once again tried to up load some more photos but these blummin internet cafes arnt all that good!

its been a difficult few days here, ive been feeling more and more isolated. one look at my diary and i realised that i have just 10 weeks untill i leave for england. ive decided to go to sydney and aukland although at the moment im just sorting out dates with steve and looking at how much it will cost etc. but it is something i really want to do and could leave PP 10 days earlier than i was going to and fit it in at the end of my trip. we will see if it happens, but i hope it all comes together, it will give me something to look forward to and get my mind off all the stresses of my job and life here, which seem to have been piling up recently. its khmer new year this weekend and we dont have church or any other meetiongs because all the khmer will be in their home provinces and alot of the whities are heading out of the city for a few days whilst everything here is shut down. chris and dale might be going to the beach so i may try and tag along and tomorow we have a dvd fest planned for the afternoon after a roast dinner at steve and midges.

i had a rubbish sleep last night, it rained really hard and woke me up, but i also had a pretty traumatic dream where i got stabbed in the head and died. thats a bit of a long story and started a discussion with jeni as to whether i watch too many violent films...im looking forward to staying up all night watching zombie movies at the flat in a couple of months in england. good times.

so ive been genrally a bit under the weather physically as well as mentally, the possibility of a trip south of the equator has lifted my spirits as i thought it was off the cards.

i recieved a bunch of letters and packages from england today which i think have been sitting in the mail box for a few weeks as one package containing some chocolate elcairs had been revished by red ants, aweful shame. i thoroughly enjoyed reading 'the week' and 'private eye' and endless newspaper clippings from nan kept the boys entertained whilst trying to avoid their home schooling this morning. i dont blame them, i wasnt in the mood to do much work either. just sat there and grunted occasionally so they knew i wasnt asleep. like i said i didnt sleep much last night, im going to see if i can get some pills to help me sleep because th last few weeks have been particularly bad as the weather hots up and the rains start to fall hard at night. i always hated putting chemicals into my body but recently ive been taking regular aspirin and vitamins and drinking a bit too much coffee which probably doesnt help my campaign for better sleep.

i have thought about nothing much today except being back in england. i know i will be sad leaving here and my life here because it is so wildly different from my life at home, yet i can help but confess how much i am longing to sleep in a warm bed and have warm showers and drink fresh milk again...its funny the things you miss.

apologies for the ramble, ive never been an organised blogger!
still going slightly mental,
Ben.