the boy who cried wolf

another night without power last night left me in a semi-insomniatic mood, i have, over the last few months, complained about my lack of good sleep too publically and soon realised that i sounded like a whining baby so abruptly stopped. a classic tale of the boy who cried wolf. as now i really am having trouble sleeping any complaints go without much sympathy, not that i was sleeping really well before but just that the last two nights have been my worst since being here. having said no sympathy steve said i can stay on their couch tonight, which is nice but it means im going to have to get up early to let sovath into the church...the other side of town, and yes...its my birthday tomorow which makes the whole thing just a bit more rubbish than normal. ive said it before and ill say it again but i really cant believe im going to be 20 tomorow. i remember the days of being in year 3 and looking up to the high school kids and thinking how old and cool they were only to realise when i got there the complete opposite was true. it is stranmge how time passes, im sure alot of people will say that the best years of their lives were their late teens, i not saying mine wernt but i havent lived long enough to be able to compare, all im saying is that i cant believe that tomorow i will no longer be a teenager, i can finally brush off the grumpy, lazy, 'cool' and self involved exterior that is a requirment of being in that age bracket...a new leash of life. i feel like simba roaring for the first time or slowing time and flying like Neo. classic.

so things here are going well, generally speaking, i havent got a lot of work on at the moment which has allowed me to finish off a few boopks and those horrible lingering tasks that were delegated to me last october but id been putting off hoping that everyone would forget and i would get away with not doing them. sadly my conscience wont allow such blatant disception depite it being ok with a whole bunch of much more serious moral infractions that have become part of my daily life. its funny how the soul works. i finished reading a book by philip yancey called 'dissapointment with god' whilst we were down at the beach this week. as the title suggests it wasnt the most positive personal account but was incredibly honest and full of those realities that make your heart jump a little. despite relating all too well to the 'skeptic' in the book i came away feeling very encouraged as yancey pleaded the case of 'job' and shared a little of his experience with his creator. i know i not overtly 'christian' in my blogs but sometimes i think it is such a part of who i am and the reason im here that it would be stupid not to discuss my spiritual frailties with any stranger who happens to fall upon this little corner of the inter web. i was touched and motivated after seeing 'KaKa' the AC.Milan stricker wearing a shirt saying 'i belong to jesus' after their champions league victory last week. i must admit i was cursing his talent as liverpool quickly lost their control of the game but couldnt help but admire te guy who is not only one of the best sprots men in the world but is so unashamed of what he believes that he will tell the world on international TV. it made me wonder if i would do the same when our position is swapped and i become the famous footballer i was born to be. i said when not if...

thank goodness i believe in a god of forgiveness, i wonder where id be if i didnt.

Ben.